Blogging about Evelyn’s mitochondrial disease has been harder than I thought it would be. It’s why I don’t blog more, or post more on Facebook, or write in her journal more.

It’s because every thought I have feels unsafe to share.

It’s like these thoughts are curses, and if they come out of my mouth (or if they are typed, or written), they will be given life and they will come true.

If I hold them in, think them maniacally but never speak them, they are not real.

It’s enough to tear a person apart, imagining that I have this kind of power.